Talk Time With The Timid Ranger Part V

Talk Time With The Timid Ranger
A recent run of form has seen The Polar Bears placed only half a percent away from 2nd spot. So we’ve kept it in the family this week for our consecutive profile of the Polkinghornes and Andrew is this week’s guest.
Coach Name: Andrew Polkinghorne
Team Name: The Polar Bears
Current Position: 4th
Q: Andrew, thanks for taking the time to involve yourself in this interview.

A: The pleasure is mine TR, I’m actually a massive fan of the articles and I find them extremely useful in gaining an insight into the mindset of opposition coaches. There have been a few times where the Polar Bears have been tipped for a win by an opposing coach and that has come true, it is good to know that you have the respect of your competitors.

Q: You come up against Cutter411 which looms as an interesting match-up for you. Would you consider it as the NSW Parks and Wildlife Service’s Match of the Week?

A: I’ve actually picked a bit of a smokey for that this week, I reckon Juddy’s Brownlows v The Birdman will be a crucial game which will go a long way to deciding who finishes in the eight and who doesn’t. Its going to be a tight one to call, but I’ve just got a feeling that the Birdman might get up to keep his season alive.

Q: It certainly is shaping as an important game. Now you mentioned respect a little earlier, but I’m afraid you don’t have mine. Considering my love for all things natural, I find it a little disappointing that the league condones the practice of forcing Polar Bears to play AFL. It is a highly dangerous exercise for them as it is certainly not a game which is observed in their natural environment, how do you explain your actions in permitting and encouraging this wildlife endangering practice?

A: I consider this to be an internal matter at the club, and isn’t something which should be broadcast to the greater public.

Q: I’m a journalist, it is my job to ask the tough questions. I demand an answer.

A: Well what if I don’t have an answer for you? I just know that I’ve got a committed bunch of guys who are willing to pull on a jumper for me. What difference does it make if those jumpers are XXXXL so that my players can fit in them? Polar Bears have just as much right to engage in an enjoyable game of football as humans do, surely as an activist for animal rights you should be encouraging the increasing acceptance that our society is displaying for the animal kingdom

Q: You’ve got to be kidding don’t you? You could use that argument to say that slavery was breaking cultural barriers because it allowed people of all races to coexist!

A: Go stuff yourself Timid.

Q: Andrew, don’t be like that…

A:*Andrew Polkinghorne exits the room, leaving an awkward pause*

Well that got a bit firey. If anyone would like to be featured next week, please submit your application to thetimidranger@hotmail.com otherwise, keep an eye on facebook for any Dream Team talk.