Talk Time With The Timid Ranger Part VI

Volcanic ash prevented me from returning to my desk in time for an article last week, so Chile apologises for that. All the talk this week has been about the one-sided nature of the biggest clash in the dream team calendar. I am referring of course to the Bill Lawry Cup and after a convincing win by the Birdman, it is time for Patty (cough..me…cough) to have a bit of a gloat.

Coach Name: Patrick Barclay

Team Name: The Birdman

Current Position: 13th

Q: Patty, a big win in the Bill Lawry Cup this weekend gone, you must be very satisfied.

A: TR, it was a good feeling to win my third straight BLC. I certainly feel like I have established my authority in this cup over the last few years and despite 1706, I was always confident I would get up.

Q: You need to pick up wins whenever you can to keep in touch with the top 8, how are you feeling about the run into finals?

A: I certainly need all the wins I can get. This week coming, a few of the boys on 20 points are playing tough games, so if I can pull an upset win over Leeds this week I might just sneak into contention.

Q: It certainly is shaping as an important game. What tactical approach will you take to jump over the reigning premier?

A: Well he does have Goddard, Montagna and Riewoldt, so there are 3 spots to cover and I think his midfield especially will be particularly stretched. I might need to pull out a surprise captain choice as well. Could be a week for Stevie J to hold the big C.

Q: Any trades likely before the game?

A: I’m thinking of pulling out a double trade this week, its been a while since I’ve upgraded and I know that Adcock will miss another two weeks with his finger. I too have the three Saints, so might consider bolstering my backline to cover the loss of them.

Q: And what is your tip for Match of the Week for round 14?

A: I think Burgs v Laing will be the one. Burgs has scored 350 points more, but finds himself 7 slots below him on the ladder. Might be a week for justice this week, though for my sake, I hope Laing gets up.

Q: Patty, thanks very much for your time.

A: TR, the pleasure is ours

He is a good bloke that Patty. If anyone would like to be featured next week, please submit your application to thetimidranger@hotmail.com otherwise, keep an eye on facebook for any Dream Team talk.

Talk Time With The Timid Ranger Part V

Talk Time With The Timid Ranger
A recent run of form has seen The Polar Bears placed only half a percent away from 2nd spot. So we’ve kept it in the family this week for our consecutive profile of the Polkinghornes and Andrew is this week’s guest.
Coach Name: Andrew Polkinghorne
Team Name: The Polar Bears
Current Position: 4th
Q: Andrew, thanks for taking the time to involve yourself in this interview.

A: The pleasure is mine TR, I’m actually a massive fan of the articles and I find them extremely useful in gaining an insight into the mindset of opposition coaches. There have been a few times where the Polar Bears have been tipped for a win by an opposing coach and that has come true, it is good to know that you have the respect of your competitors.

Q: You come up against Cutter411 which looms as an interesting match-up for you. Would you consider it as the NSW Parks and Wildlife Service’s Match of the Week?

A: I’ve actually picked a bit of a smokey for that this week, I reckon Juddy’s Brownlows v The Birdman will be a crucial game which will go a long way to deciding who finishes in the eight and who doesn’t. Its going to be a tight one to call, but I’ve just got a feeling that the Birdman might get up to keep his season alive.

Q: It certainly is shaping as an important game. Now you mentioned respect a little earlier, but I’m afraid you don’t have mine. Considering my love for all things natural, I find it a little disappointing that the league condones the practice of forcing Polar Bears to play AFL. It is a highly dangerous exercise for them as it is certainly not a game which is observed in their natural environment, how do you explain your actions in permitting and encouraging this wildlife endangering practice?

A: I consider this to be an internal matter at the club, and isn’t something which should be broadcast to the greater public.

Q: I’m a journalist, it is my job to ask the tough questions. I demand an answer.

A: Well what if I don’t have an answer for you? I just know that I’ve got a committed bunch of guys who are willing to pull on a jumper for me. What difference does it make if those jumpers are XXXXL so that my players can fit in them? Polar Bears have just as much right to engage in an enjoyable game of football as humans do, surely as an activist for animal rights you should be encouraging the increasing acceptance that our society is displaying for the animal kingdom

Q: You’ve got to be kidding don’t you? You could use that argument to say that slavery was breaking cultural barriers because it allowed people of all races to coexist!

A: Go stuff yourself Timid.

Q: Andrew, don’t be like that…

A:*Andrew Polkinghorne exits the room, leaving an awkward pause*

Well that got a bit firey. If anyone would like to be featured next week, please submit your application to thetimidranger@hotmail.com otherwise, keep an eye on facebook for any Dream Team talk.